wHat AppEarED To Be tHE StrOngEst wiLl bE ToppLeD bY a MerE BLoW

2012-01-22T12:43:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of the rabbit year!

Although rabbit yr is a yr full of learning and maturing for me, I'm grateful to be able to pass the yr smoothly and peacefully.

Currently waiting for my mum to get ready for steamboat! hahaha... Reunion lunch!!! Coz tonight mama knows that I need to go FT for qing zhu. So we are have it early. =D

It is like a wish come true to be able to eat a reunion meal early! Coz we used to have it very late, e.g. 11pm. I'm very thankful that mama is willing to pei he me. =D

Thanks rabbit yr for being such a good yr. May the dragon bless us all in this upcoming dragon yr!

Happy Chinese New Year people!!!! =D Have a smooth dragon yr ahead! =)

2011-12-31T13:42:00.000+08:00

2011 is going to come to an end in 11 hours time.

Every year I will always do a thanks giving post. This is to thank everyone who have made a difference and impacted my life this year.

1) I got to be grateful that my wish of going to Taiwan for 见学 have finally been realised this yr. Grateful that Lao Mu ci bei, for realising my wishes. Gan En for everything and gan en for doting me so much this yr. Gan En LMCB!

2) I got to thanks my parents and sister for being so supportive and encouraging toward me this whole yr. Without their constant support, love and care, I would be able to achieve so much this yr. Thanks papa for his hard work in trying to provide for the family. Thank you mama for showing her love to me whole round and giving her best for the family. Thank you to my younger sister for being our source laughter and entertainment. hahaha. Without her around, life would be a dull!

3) Next up, I got to thank my dear for being with all these while, be it thin or thick, hot or cold, up or down. Thank you for encouraging me and letting me know what love is all about. We may have our differences, thoughts and pride. But all these doesn't matters coz we have LOVE with us. As long, we have our goals, we can achieve and create miracles! All these are possible as long u r with me! Thank you for being here with me all the time!

4) Thanks Yong Hao for all the HTHT and advices that I needed. Thanks for telling me that everything is possible as long I believe in it and do it. Thanks for the helps rendered during the taiwan trip. It was a great help. Without it, I might not be able to manage everyone so well. Thanks for being such a good bro who nv fail to give me ur honest opinion. I really appreciate it bro!

5) Guoming: although we dun interact so much due to our heavy workload, thanks for trying to pull me out for a swim all the times. Thanks for accompanying me when I need companionship. Thanks for all the laughter u have given to me and thanks for being a bro who I have i can rely upon! Let us jia you next year! =)

6) Shi Hui: It is a joy to be able to help u out with ur 21st this year! Thanks for letting me know u better as a friend, as a clique. Thanks for the occasional talk about some issues. Thanks for being a good friend! Thank you!

7) Siqi: Thanks sis for laming with me all the times! Thanks for all the jokes and HTHT. Although we do not meet up that often due to our bz schedule, but I'm glad to be able to see u around and lame around with u. Thanks for being a wonderful friend all the while! Let jia you for DJB next yr!

8) Li Ru and Yi Xian: hey peeps, thanks for the encouragement and listening during the recent exam period. Thanks for all the dao yi discussion in RCB and in life. It is nice to be able to know both of u better and learn from both of u. @012 is coming le, let us jia you further for everything we want to achieve next yr!

9) brothers clique: Hey bros, thanks for all the dinners ,study and swim sessions! It is really fun to be able to work hard together and play hard together. Thanks for letting me learn from each and every one of u. IT is a fulfilling 1 yr! Let jia you and progress for 2012!

10) Tzong Hong and Eugene: Thanks for being such a great work partners! It is fun to be able to work together as a team for prof! Let work harder for prf this upcoming yr!

11) Milo and YY: hey di, although there was a misunderstanding here and there, I'm still grateful that LM have send both of u to me this yr! Thanks for all the smile, laughter and tears. THanks for making the effort to making this dao qing a meanful one, thanks for all the learning given unknowningly! 2012, we can progress better this upcoming yr! jia you!

12) To everyone whose name is not here, there are too many of u out there who have changed my life this yr! every lesson delivered to me by u all are great and it have made me a better person. I would wana thanks all the taiwan qian xian for all the life lesson shared with me during the taiwan trip! The trip was really fruitful and enriching. I can only show my appreciation by persisting through my difficulties. Learning by doing. I will bear it in mind.

To sum it up, it is a meaningful, fruitful and magnificent 2011. I hope to be able to do better and achieve more for the upcoming 2012.

Let us bring along our lesson learned in 2011 with us to 2012. This is where we can touched and influence more life with our own experience.

Good Bye 2011 and Welcome 2012!

2011-12-05T12:40:00.000+08:00

Here is another romance is in the air song:

Lyrics:

抱在一起痛哭過的夏天　
那座球場永遠沒有終點
男孩暗戀你低頭笑的臉
你最討厭我好強的一面

生命總愛突然發下考卷　
沒有答案只有笑和眼淚
滿分的人不存在這世界　
我幼稚膚淺就為你熱血

現在請讓我繼續喜歡你
世界毀滅前別把我放棄
我變得多膽小全都是因為你
害怕得不到你肯定

未來請讓我繼續喜歡你　
哪怕只有一點眼神鼓勵
就能讓我以為我能改變一切
我就是什麼都不懂我只懂愛你

生命總愛突然發下考卷　
沒有答案只有笑和眼淚
滿分的人不存在這世界　
我幼稚膚淺就為你熱血

現在請讓我繼續喜歡你
世界毀滅前別把我放棄
我變得多膽小全都是因為你
害怕得不到你肯定

未來請讓我繼續喜歡你　
哪怕只有一點眼神鼓勵
就能讓我以為我能改變一切
我就是什麼都不懂我只懂愛你

就要不停戰鬥要戰勝我自己因為我的勇氣

現在請讓我繼續喜歡你　
世界毀滅前別把我放棄
我變得多膽小全都是因為你
害怕得不到你肯定

未來請讓我繼續喜歡你
哪怕只有一點眼神鼓勵
就能讓我以為我能改變一切
我就是什麼都不懂我只懂愛你

我只懂愛你我知道愛你

2011-12-02T12:02:00.001+08:00

Here is another fav MV of mine. =)

I still think this MV is very sweet and the lyrics are meaningful. =D
I believe I will be getting the OST very soon. haha

2011-12-01T23:56:00.001+08:00

Watch this movie with dear today. Fill with lots of thought as I felt it was really closely related to me and how I felt.
I particularly like this quote from the show:
“我要成为一个很厉害的人，因为有了我，让这个世界而有一点点的不一样。我的世界就是你的心。”

I can really feel how the male lead felt when he say that. =)

This show brought out many memories that I have since secondary school till now. It make me treasure what I have more. After all, to be able to bring happiness to the person u love is the most blissful thing to do in this world.

I'm glad that I watched this movie today. =) I will work harder for the apple of my eye. =D

2011-11-23T23:25:00.001+08:00

修道要一以贯之。

这果然是一句金玉良言。

我要得以贯之！

This is a reminder to myself! I will not let those who care for me down.

2011-11-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

用心与用情真的只是一线之差如此简单吗？

感恩上天慈悲让我又能进步了。

我会紧记在心的。

加油，吉淞!

2011-11-17T17:40:00.000+08:00

Here I am again!!!

Taking a break from all the organic stuffs in natural product chemistry. Gosh!!! I getting tired! lol.. haha

After the chat with Li Ru in the afternoon and the chat with Yi Xian last night, they gave me a lot of food for thought. I'm really grateful to them coz at this point of time I know what to do and how should go about achieving it.

I understand everyone is very concern about my well being at this point of time, I'm really grateful and appreciative of it. But have faith in me. I know what I'm doing and I will be able to settle all the issues one by one. All I need is an encouragement and not a reprimand.

But no matter what I have receive so far, I'm grateful coz this show that all of u really care for me.

Thanks people!

I will fight on.

2011-11-17T01:15:00.001+08:00

Just got home about half an hour ago!

I just got to thank a few people today.

Yi Xian: thanks for have a cup of drink with me after RCB just now. It was a really nice chat. Thanks for ur super interesting analogy! will rmb to apply it de.

Li Ru: Thanks for making me laugh for the whole studying session. =D Looking forward to study with u and the rest!

Jia Yi: Heyo, today then I really know how 'interesting' u r! haha.. Thanks for the joke! =D

Anyway, I just said my san bao today, although it is imperfect, but I'm grateful for the learning experience! Yi Xian, u r next!!! hahaa... Jia You! looking forwards to your san bao sharing next week.

Handed in my final report for mini FYP today too! another thing off my chest.

Jia you Lawrence! Will try to fulfill what I have promise myself to do after my chat with Yi Xian tonight!

2011-11-16T10:21:00.002+08:00

Maybe I'm not good enough for everyone around me coz I'm bad and selfish?

2011-11-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

Thanks Yi Xian, Zhong Hong, Li Ru and Chen Jie Jie for making me smile so much during our journey to TG and back from TG.

Really grateful to have them around to cheer me up. Gan En Ci Bei!!! =D

To my 2 beloved di di, sorry that kor reply u so late after RCB!!! Thanks for cheering me up despite everything that have happen so far. xxcb! =D

2011-11-03T23:03:00.002+08:00

These few days although I'm studying, or out with my friends, I have been putting on a smile on my face to prevent them from knowing something have happen between us.

I have been thinking of whether to forgive u or to prevent myself from getting hurt. I have seen all the smses that u have sent me so far. But I can't help but to be scared.. Scared of getting hurt by ur words with u not knowing it again.

Whenever I look at my ring, I will think of the time I put on our promise ring on u during our 6th month monthiversary. That memory brought me joys and yet it is reminding me of the number of times I got hurt.

I know u dun mean it, but the damage is done. I told u I need some time coz I'm not brave enough to face the hurt again. With all the tests, report and exam coming up, I will need to focus on them first. Let maintain status quo.

JY for ur fyp. Hope u can get something.

2011-11-01T23:15:00.004+08:00

It is always like this, u said some stuff that is hurtful to me and then u just walk away and happily forget about it.

When I tell u about it, then u just tell me that u dun talk liao.

Just who am I to u? A straw doll that u can poke needle into and then just leave the needle there and dump the doll away?

Straw doll can't feel, but me as a human can feel.

I can only say I disappointed. If one day, I'm really gone, please remember to treat others better than how u treated me.

That way, at least that person wun hurt so much and wun be so disappointed as I do.

2011-11-01T15:32:00.002+08:00

原来这一句“you better get used to it" 有如此地恐怖。因为这一句话把我对你的信心给打碎了。

I was all prepared to move on till I saw this sentence in the sms that morning. It defeated me totally. All my hopes was crashed at the moment.

I duno whether to continue to move out of this situation.

I'm in a conflict now.

2011-10-30T00:23:00.001+08:00

为了爱，我是应该勇敢的走下去。

《彩虹雨》

2011-10-29T12:27:00.002+08:00

Have been watching <<爱，无限>>, this song is the opening theme song. It is really meaningful and true. Kinda describe my in depth feeling now.

曲名:<我們都怕痛>

她說她再也不相信真愛
我能給的安全感也用完
原本的孤單已變成不安
像看穿卻又放不下依賴

看著她低頭勇敢牽著她就走
別怕只要在一起就能穿越黑晝
她的眼睛說愛太迷人卻猜不透
她的脆弱只有我能看懂

我們都怕痛但又好想試著牽手
兩顆心隱藏在背後不敢承諾
不想再難過丟棄回憶重新來過
讓我永遠牽著妳把手給我

她說她再也不相信真愛
我能給的安全感也用完
原本的孤單已變成不安
像看穿卻又放不下依賴

看著我低頭她說她願跟我走
好怕讓她心碎的痛又反覆折磨
我的眼睛說笑或淚我都會守候
她是我唯一執著的執著

我們都怕痛但又好想試著牽手
兩顆心隱藏在背後不敢承諾 (不敢為愛承諾)
不想再難過丟棄回憶重新來過
讓我永遠牽著妳把手給我

2011-10-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

In every relationship, we need stability, security, trust and initiative.

In view of all these, I somewhat feel that my relationship is not progressing, in fact as the day passes, it is deteriorating.

Dear was joking with me the other day that we r at the ‘相见如冰’ stage. Although I laugh with her, but i felt that way. Everyone might thinks that dear and me are doing fine in the relationship. In actual fact, we are not.

For one, we are not doing any of the romantic things that a couple are doing. Eg: we don't make a really crazy decision last min and execute it. She will be the one with lot of consideration which end up killing the mood.

Then, we are not meeting up as often as we should, I guess that is cause both of us ain't taking the initiative to do so at all. y? Coz we are afraid of being rejected.

Thirdly, any date that I want to have with her end up being a group outing coz our clique will somehow join us or she would invite them. Even if i reject the idea, she will give me her reason which make me give in. (70% of the time)

Lastly, we dun chat on the phone as daily coz our timing is super off. She will always slp by the time I get home. (Eg: 10 to 11pm)

And whenever, we try to solve the issues, the efforts are rather half hearted coz we will start taking things for granted after 1 week or so.

Did we trust each other too much or we are really slowly drifting off? Now that is the real question.

2011-10-01T00:42:00.003+08:00

人与人之间往往都是以要求来对待彼此。那又有多少人是以一颗真诚和温馨的爱心来对待大家呢？

This question kinda strike me with all the issues happening at home. I'm worried and yet I can't do much. I'm just worried that tragedy will struck my family soon.

All I could is to be strong and pray fervently that nothing will happen.

Everyone around always says that I try too hard all the times. But they dun understand how heavy a burden I'm carrying on my shoulder. Why do I always try so hard? It is cause I just want to bring happiness to people around me. It is because by doing so, I know I still have hope to save and protect what is dearest to me.

But I guess at times, I brought more unhappiness to people around me rather than a smile to their face.

I didn't know why I shared so much with Li Ru and Yi Xian on the way home from RCB tonight. I think that is cause I just need to relieve the pressure off my chest. I'm thankful to see the genuine concern and advices given by them.

I always feels that I'm really blessed by Lao Mu. Coz she always surrounds me with people who cares a lot for me and are willing to spread their love to me.

But I always feel guilty because of LM's gesture coz I always think bad about others, I always do things that I want to do. and coz I'm not as perfect as what LM and others expect of me. I'm super immatured and only bring unhappiness to others.

Yet LM have nv give up on me and she always try to bring the best out of me. Sometime it is hard for me to make the correct decision, but I'm always glad for all the advices given by others as well as LM divine arrangement to let things turn out right.

Honestly, I miss those carefree times, but I know I have to go through all these so that I can be stronger, tougher and more resilient. I know all these are just part of the plan that LM have for me to be able to handle greater responsibilities.

Despite the odd, I will overcome it with my limited wisdom and strength.

Coz 信，愿，行，证 is the path to overcoming all probs in the world as long as u r willing to take the first step in believing and executing.

To the question above, I'm glad that I'm surrounded by ANGELS who always treat me truthfully from the bottem of their hearts. Thank Angels!!! ( u know who u r, people! =D )

Good night people.

2011-09-07T23:58:00.002+08:00

I'm so sorry people.. Been so bz that i did not update my blog lately.

Been working till quite late in lab lately coz my prof is going to fly to Japan this sunday for a conference with my analysis result. LOL!!!

So have to keep repeating my analysis just to ensure that I can produce something that he wants.

Anyway, despite the bz schedule, I managed to catch SMURF today at Jurong Point GV with Miaosi.

And I just changed my phone to my fav HTC desire S!! woohoo!!! =D Birthday present from my mama.. =D

GTG.. Kinda tired from today alr. another long day tml. good night people!

2011-08-11T09:04:00.002+08:00

Heyo everyone!!! Kinda long since my last update.

School have finally started. Wow!!! Hard to believe that I'm in final year already.

I guess this sem will be rather busy as I'm taking 2 language modules and mini FYP. Pray hard that I can do well this sem. LMCB!

On a side note, b4 holiday ended, I went to USS with Miao Si and clique for some fun. Was really amused by everything there. ( U can call me treetop people) haha.. Did the craziest thing in my life there too.. What that u say? I took more than 2 roller coaster ride that day.. OMG!!! hahaha..

On a side note, or rather a late note: Thanks everyone who celebrated my birthday and wishes on the day itself this yr. I'm thankful for u all for the wonderful gathering. =) Thank you!

2011-07-18T23:33:00.002+08:00

Yoyo!!!

Kinda long since I last updated my blog! =D

Been kinda packed lately with works, LY and research. haha.. But I'm enjoying life too! =D Special thanks to all my precious ones around me who are giving me lots of courage and encouragement for me to continue to do my duty properly. =D

Three cheers to them!

Anyway, I finally caught the last sequence of Harry Potter. I would say that I'm going to miss it coz harry potter accompanied me all the way since sec 1 till now. A total of 11 years! Wah!! that is really long...

I still rmb catching the first movie in sec 1 with Chee Yong.. And I caught the last part with Miaosi and Samantha.

Guess I'm going to dig out Harry Potter book 7 and re-read it again! haha.. Kinda crazy I guess =p

Well, it is late alr, thus I going to take my rest! good night =D

2011-06-30T07:56:00.002+08:00

After going through 3 camps consecutively, I'm still feeling the effect of not having enough sleep despite having to recover for close to 1 weeks alr. haha..

Really glad to be able to go for 3 camps this yr. It is a fruitful journey, From being a participant in C Camp to a DDZ in B Camp and lastly an AD-HOC in A Camp. Learning bits and pieces in the different stage of a camp.

Time really flies when we are busy. June is going to be over soon and July is approaching fast. haha...

Speaking of July, this means that my birthday is reaching soon. This year I only have 1 wish and there is only 1 gift that everyone around me can give. I wun be revealing it here in my blog. But if u r interested, u can ask me personally on what is it. haha.. =D

I believe all my close friends will know what that gift is. =) I really hope that my wish will come true this year.

So will u people help to make it come true? =D

2011-06-16T12:48:00.002+08:00

It is the month of June again!

This month is going to be a rather busy and yet fruitful month coz I will be attending 3 camps. The first camp is alr over. I attended C Camp. Learnt a lot from the camp and thus leading me to a greater spiritual fulfillment.

B camp is up next this coming weekend. Hopefully I can guide and facilitate my youths and let them have a deeper understanding of the main objective of the camp.

Right now, I'm helping Tzong Hong and Miao Si with their A camp prep.

Apart from that, I have to look after the 2 researches that I involve with currently. So I'm going to try my best in juggling everything and at the same time bring out the smile in everybody.

A quote for everyone:

If u believe, no proof is required.

But if u dun believe, no proof is possible!

Strive on and believe in urself and everyone around u people.

信，愿，行，证

All of us can achieve it! =D

Take care and till the next post! =D

2011-05-25T01:26:00.003+08:00

Gan En Zong Wei TZ for bringing a smile to my face whenever I'm vexed or upset.

It is a joy to be able to talk and to share so much with him all the times.

It also doubles the joy to be able to have him talking about himself to me. =)

I must really gan en LM for bringing this angel so close to me.

Indeed is Gan En Ci Bei! =D

Gan En Gan En!

2011-05-12T23:52:00.000+08:00

Something meaningful shared with me by Zong Wei TZ:

《管子·权修》：“一年之计，莫如树谷；十年之计，莫如树木，终身之计，莫如树人。”

Tan Zhu was trying to enco0urage me knowing that I signed contract with MOE today. Thus, I will share this with all of u today. =D

2011-05-11T22:02:00.003+08:00

I'm finally done with 3 battles after 3 consecutive days!!!

Tuesday was Biz Finance. I really duno what i was studying lo.. Like Zhong Hong said that mod is really SS!!! haha... Both of us got slain badly by that paper!! Just hope that I can get my 'S' can liao.

As for today, I left the exam venue 45 mins early. Coz I completed the whole paper within 1 hr and i took another 15 mins to check. This mod is my best mod so far.. Thus I have high hopes on it.

I still have 1 more battle to go which is on the 20th May.

But for now, I guess I can afford to take 2 days break to recharge my HP and mana for the final battle. Need to heal myself before going to battle again. If not, u will only see an 'ancient spirit' walking next to u next time in TH.

haha..

PS: guess I'm really nut from having too much exam!!! =x

2011-05-09T16:44:00.002+08:00

I got slain by the paper!!!

Didnt manage to finish.. =( I left out 2 mechanism not drawn. Coz I have no time to recall the mechanism.

Nvm.. At least I'm revive again. So tml can go win that battle. =)

2011-05-09T10:50:00.001+08:00

Finally, it is Day 1, Battle 1!

Just gotta try my best and slay the organometallic paper! =)

2011-05-03T15:21:00.002+08:00

I'm currently mugging in NIE library with Yang Yang.

As most of u have guess it, my exam is coming soon.

I won't be doing my usual complaining. But instead, I will be cheering myself to do better this time!

Jia you to myself and to all my fellow Uni readers who are here to read my blog during their mind block period. haha..

All the best peeps! Just a few more weeks to go! Ganbatte!

2011-04-03T19:18:00.002+08:00

好感恩上天给于我的一切。

这一切也只能用六个字来形容：感谢天恩师德。

感谢我周围的菩萨与仙佛时常的教导我，爱护我和提点我。

要不是大家时常爱护与关怀我，今天就不会有你们所认识的郑吉淞了。

好感恩有你们的存在，谢谢你们！

*感恩一鞠躬*

谢谢各位天使慈悲！=)

2011-04-01T17:58:00.003+08:00

I finally have the chance to try my own okonomiyaki. It is like the previous time i cook, I only try abit to ensure the taste is there. But this time, I cooked 1 piece for myself and going to pass the others to my friends. let u see the pic. =)

2011-03-30T23:10:00.002+08:00

I finally turn my thought into actions. =) I cooked Okonomiyaki today!!! =D

Coz today is Zhong Yu's birthday, feel so bad that I cant celebrate with him due to RCB. So I cooked okonomiyaki for him since he likes japanese stuffs alot. =)

Since there was extra, I packed the rest and brought it to TH to pass to ‘有缘人’ to eat. =)

I just got home like 30 mins ago. Kinda tired. Still feel bad that I cannot celebrate pok pok birthday with him. But I must be more 潇洒, must learn the 五大牺牲of our 前人and 前贤. =D

Happy Birthday POK!!! =D I believe u had a blast today.

2011-03-23T23:39:00.003+08:00

This week is the busiest week I'm going to have by far. Why?

Coz I have 2 mid terms in a row and every night got Ban qi in Fotang.

Plus I didnt take care of myself, so I'm currently unwell and abit down in energy. No matter what, I will recover soon and overcome this busy week with a confident smile!!! =D

Yao Jun's 21st is on this Sat. But I'm not I'm able to go after QKB or not, coz firstly, I hope I will be able to recover by then. Secondly, Edmund might not be going, so after qkb, I duno who will I be tagging along with. Lastly, sunday got DJB and I'm in charge of the program for that day. So need to preparation time.

But I hope I can overcome the odd, coz Yao Jun's 21st party only come once. =)

Well, I'm suppose to be slping yet, I'm still awake. Should go slp liao. night world!

2011-03-11T12:55:00.000+08:00

Finally, the shine after the storm. =D

2011-03-10T14:41:00.001+08:00

I feel that u totally miss the point that I was trying to make.

But nvm, coz why should I punish myself for mistakes made by others?

2011-03-08T14:23:00.002+08:00

我突然间感觉好累。

我开始感觉不到您对我的关怀和关心。

我好希望您会向别的女生一样时时刻刻都会想着自己心爱的人，发简讯，和我一起打打闹闹的。而不是有时把我放在一边不知慰问。

你知道每天起来看不到您的简讯会让我感到多失望吗？

当没看见你的时候，我有多么想知道您在忙什么和做什么，您知道吗？

当您在学校看见我的时候，我为什么感觉不到您看见我的那股快乐呢？

今天是我们的第十四个月了，怎么还会是这样呢？

是我不够体贴还是一切都成为了里所当然？

我真的不知道了。

2011-03-05T17:10:00.002+08:00

人与人之间往往就是有太多误会和执著才会造成很多不必要的后悔和遗憾。

有时可能我们以为自己很懂，但是事实往往是相反的。

当我们因为自己的判断而做错了决定时又有多少人可以勇敢的站起来认错，然后勇敢的把错误给纠正过来呢？

我真的不知道要怎样才能让我关心的人了解这一点。

2011-03-03T01:47:00.002+08:00

今晚上人才班时，听了好多位前贤们的修道的经过。其中就有这两位坛主与副坛主让我感到很羡慕和敬佩因为他们两夫妻从求道到开堂都是两个人肩并肩的一起走。今晚又刚好一起在今晚的自我介绍上台。他们让我有了这一股的勇气与愿望要和我心爱的人在接下来的这条修道的路上一起加油打气和彼此鼓励。

过了今晚，我好想好希望妙思能够了解我的这颗爱她和想要和她一起长相思守，一起把坛主的佛堂坚守下去的心。因为这条路如果没有她，一切就不完整，就没有意义了。因为妙思在我的心中是无法取代的。

2011-02-25T10:23:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I duno why I'm so sensitive to other's feelings and I'm also quite affected by how others act around me. Well, I guess u can says that I'm inferior as I'm always surrounded by elites in every aspects.

If someone did not reply my sms/ msg/ call or even comment on fb, I tend to get worried and think a lot. I'm not sure whether it is coz of some side effects from experiences in the past or I just care too much for everyone around me maybe to the extent that I believe it is overboard? It scares me sometimes. Yet I still have to face it. Coz it is a part of me.

Perhap I'm just trying to treasure everyone around me and yet fulfilling a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe I should learn to ignore and not get too affects by other's actions. I'm still a human yet I'm striving to be a saint. Is that goal too far fetched for me? I guess only time could tells.

2011-02-22T14:00:00.003+08:00

Hi people, it have been a long time since my last update. 2011 is indeed going to be a fruitful and splendid year ahead, coz most of my time will be occupied by lesson, prayer, research and of coz quality time with my family and loved one.

This year is a year of responsibility for me, so lmcb, hope that I do not make any mistake and is able to carry these responsibities out well.

Gan en that I manage to get the prof I want for my research. Will work even harder from there. GECB!!! =D

I will jia you de. =)

2011-02-10T17:20:00.002+08:00

Have u ever sms/ called someone closed to you and ur sms/ call was not replied for the whole day?

How would would u feel? anxious? worried? or nonchalant?

I would be worried if it is me, coz I don't know what happen to that person and why that person cant reply me. I will get worried.

Maybe it seems really silly of me to get worried over such trivial stuff but you never know what happen right?

Hope those of you who receive sms me next time can reply me with the word busy if u r really bz. =)

Trust me, it make a whole world of a difference.

2011-02-09T00:06:00.002+08:00

HAppy Rabbit Year to everyone out there!!! =D

I have been busy these few days with all the bai nian and catching up with friends.

Still feel tired, but hope to recover soon.

Nothing much to blog for now except that I'm really gan en to lao mu for shining light upon me when I'm shaken from my belief and thoughts.

I will keep the silence pledge that i have made b4.

Till then..

2011-01-25T00:54:00.002+08:00

Today is first day of school.

Kinda long day today coz I start at 9.30 and I end at only 7.30. Stay in sch till 8pm while waiting for someone. But end up have to leave NTU first.

I kinda like my current timetable, 8 hrs of lect on mon, 1 hr of tut on tues, 3 hrs lect in the afternoon on wed, 6 hrs lab on thurs and 2 hrs lect on fri. Kinda glad that i manage to fit everything in nicely this sem. Gan en lmcb for all the helps.

Anyway, at QSN AGM yesterday, I felt so glad for all my buddies who have assume a heavier responsibilities in their own de shu. Indeed TESD. =)

DCS shared quite a few quotes with us, if u want to know more abt it, just click on 'Edmund" under my friend link on the right of this blog. He mentions them in his post.

I have been following quite a few people blog lately, just so happy to know that there is something happening to them to let them have the reason to smile. xie xie and gan en lmcb for all these. =) Nothing brighten my day other than knowing how people i care for is smiling in their life everyday,

So please continue to smile people, coz ur smile make a big difference to this world, or at least it seems so to me. =D

Cheers

2011-01-24T00:25:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda tired.. But i can't give up.

To give up would simply means admitting defeat to the test ahead.

I will only make sure i succeed.

My 2011 resolution, I will ensure i achieve it this year.

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile - Einstein

2011-01-18T22:44:00.002+08:00

After much reflection, I have decided..

I shall engrave this lesson learnt in my heart forever.

2011-01-15T19:20:00.003+08:00

Feeling kinda bad that due to everything around me, I'm unable to do thing or manage things well.

Bro, I'm sorry for the hicup caused for forgetting to get back to u regarding our kbox session. I'm really sorry. I'm this is not the first time, but still hope that u can understand. U kinda worried me with ur tone just now. Hope that u r fine. I know it is my fault and I could only apologise to u. Really duno what to do next. Please cheer up soon k? Kinda hurt me to hear u having that tone.

I'm sorry.

2011-01-14T11:38:00.003+08:00

Have been able to blog lately.. Coz realise that i totally dun what to type whenever i'm this page.

CNY is just round the corner, have everyone gotten their new year clothings yet?

Went out with JH yesterday to shop around and to go makan.. haha.. Got myself a round neck tee, JH also. Den pop by Zen for our dinner. Didnt know that Zen is having 20% so we just order a few ala carte. Look like Zen have upgrade the menu. So really worth to have a look. =)

Will be going for another round of shopping again. Need to get 2 more round neck tee and 1 long pants haha...

On a side note, I was talking to Yong Hao the other day when we went out for dinner. He kinda firm up my resolution on what I should do. With that in mind, I'm going to make I do something about it. =)

Thanks to all the bros who have been supporting all these while. =) gan en!!!!

2011-01-03T21:44:00.003+08:00

Sometime, we will be humiliated.. But when that happen, what do we do?

Do we throw our temper to cover up the embarrassment? Or do we slowly back away and try to bear with it?

Unfortunately, I'm still learning to do the second action.

Tzong Hong once told me, it is because we feel weird or a certain emotion, that why we think that everyone around us are thinking bad abt us... But they does not necessary think that way right? =D haha..

I almost wanted to throw my temper just now when I got humiliated.. But I didn't.. Coz I believe that person will says things to me might not mean what he is saying.. It is just my own emotion playing with me..

Perhaps this is a good training for me too.. Dun u think so? =D

2011-01-01T01:43:00.003+08:00

Firstly, Happy 2011 to everyone!!!! =D

Hope that this year will be a better year for learning and a disaster free year.

Looking back at 2010, a lot of things have happened, lots of up and down, lots of lessons to learn from.

But gan en to everyone around me who always supported me and advice me along the way.

Gan En to my family for allowing me to grow more independently and maturely.

Gan En to my dearest sweetie pie; Miao Si for her everlasting love and for being next to me all the times.

Gan En to Edmund, Siqi, Shi Hui and Guoming for all the laughters and funs.

Gan En to Zhong Hong and his family for being a second family to me and for all the cares and concerns showered on me.

Gan En to my Mu Tang TZ and all dao qing, for giving me a chance to learn and liao yuan as the years goes by.

Gan En to all bros for teaching me the way of giving and learning.

Gan En to all Qian Xians who showered me with all their treasured advices and for guiding me along the way.

Gan En to all of u who frequently come to look at my whinings, happiness and for dropping encouraging message along the way.

Gan En to twiny, who nv fails to listen to me and for allowing me to know him better.

Gan En to Lao Mu, for all the precious lessons learned this year and for all her wonderful arrangements. Even more gan en to her for allowing me to meet all the wonderful people around this year and giving me a chance to learn from them and to treasure them.

Thank you very much everyone!!! I will jia you!!! =D

May all of you have a wonderful 2010 and a even more precious 2011 ahead... =)

Gan En Ci Bei!!!! Xie Xie Ci Bei. ;)

2010-12-19T23:13:00.002+08:00

Finally I'm left with 2 papers.. 1 tml and 1 on wed, it has been a long battle coz I have been studying non stop for like months alr.

Looking forward to the trip to Genting on Thursday, time to have my deserve break den I guess.. =D

Really glad that I'm not fighting the battle alone. I must really gan en LM coz she gave me the best support that I needed this time round. =)

2010-12-14T22:01:00.003+08:00

2 papers down so far.. 5 more to go.

I currently abit sick of studying, but I guess it is just an excuse. I really appreciate studying, but why am I embracing exam? What a paradoxical action.

Seeing people around me working so hard for exam motivates me and yet at the same lower my ability to focus and concentrate. If only I can manage exam stress better.

Hope to regain my discipline. =D

So long'

2010-12-11T20:00:00.002+08:00

Today is the first time after so long that I nv go for DZB.. Coz next monday marked the start of my exams.. 5 papers in 6 days, how crazy can that be? I'm just glad that I have manage to finish most of my modules once. But it seems that my efforts is not paying of coz I'm still getting problem trying to recall the knowledge that I need.

I guess I'm getting into the exam panic mode, coz I have nv had such hectic exam schedule before. Just hope that I can survive.

Not going for dzb tonight make me feel kinda empty. It is those serene feeling that is surrounding me now. I just hope I can complete my objective tonight. I will jia you and work harder. =D

2010-12-09T02:10:00.002+08:00

感恩 that everything in my life is going well and smooth.

Really grateful that even though it is exam period now, I still get lot of cares and concerns from Friends, Family, and my buddies.. =D

I will do my best this sem and not disappoint myself or anyone who cares abt my well being and result. Strive on will be my motto for this period of time.

Ganbette to myself and to those having exam now. =D

2010-12-02T15:20:00.003+08:00

Amidst all stabilty come changes,

amidst all changes come stability.

How long more to go before stability come to me?

Time for me to learn to try to stay in the vortex of all changes where the true stability lies. =)

A peaceful heart is hard to find, however, it is a treasure that once found, u will not lose it again. Hopefully that I can find it one day.. =D

2010-11-27T00:12:00.003+08:00

It been a while again I guess..

Celebrated my mum's birthday with her on Thursday. Went home at 3pm in the afternoon. I'm so glad that I have manage to bake brownie and cake with mum. It was so fun.. Kinda long since I last celebrated my mum's birthday due to university exam. This yr was kinda special coz NTU's exam got pushed back by 1 month. Thus allowing me to spend some special time with mummy.. =D

Something strike me as I was watching mum cut the brownie that night. Due to my carelessness, the top layer of the brownie got burnt. Mummy was cutting away the top layer so that i can bring some back home. She did not keep any of the good part for herself. She took all the slightly burnt part of the brownie and ask me to bring home the rest. It just reminded me that how fortunate I am to have my mum with me and how she has always been trying to guide me and erase my mistakes when I do make 1.

Even though I know my mum wun get to read this, but I just want express here on how much I love her and appreciate her for all her efforts and teachings.

Love u Mum!!! =D

2010-11-20T13:09:00.004+08:00

Trying hard in life and to accept everything around me..

I guess I'm not doing a good job at it again.. =(

I'm not perfect, yet I try very hard to be..

Each time I thought I have improve in my character, I'm just being proven wrong.

Who on Earth really understand me?

2010-11-14T21:46:00.001+08:00

Gan en that every unhappiness have passed and ended..

Gan en for a brand new chance given each time I made a mistake..

Shall continu to trasure and gan en!!

2010-11-13T22:44:00.002+08:00

Went to my first ever Anime Fest today with Zhong Hong, Zhong Yu and Yanda. haha.. It was really cool to see all the live dubbing by the famous Yuri, Hana Kanazawa. WOOT!!! She is fantastic!!! I'm so going to watch angel beat and black rock shooter soon. haha..

However, I also had a small quarrel with Miaosi. It started coz she went to anime fest with her friends in the morning and I'm went with my clique in the afternoon. It was fine at this point. So my clique and I reach the fest at 1.45 with our ticket bought. so we went in for a walk den we went to the concert stage (it was in the exhibition hall next to the main hall). So my phone was in slient mode and I was watching the concert and till now Miaosi did not tell me that she want to see me. So my hp was in slient mode, when I notice her call, I saw her sms too. Couldn't call her back as I was still in the mid of the performance. So i replied her text. She wanted to look for me, so i just told her where i was. and then i continued watching the performance. I didn't know that she duno there was a concert stage that I was in, so she tried calling and I didnt pick up my call as I didn't know it was ringing. So after the performance, I saw all her missed call and I called her back. But then she threw her frustration and temper at me. I didn't say anything about it. I tried explaining but she just never absorbed the info. So I just let her bang her frustration lo.. Kinda my fault that I didn't pick my call. But still I believe I dun deserve having her temper thrown at me. I mean I can't even leave the performance halfway. The concert stage hall door was closed already. And by the time I saw her calls and msges, she was already on her way home. Till now she have not called me or msg me yet. Really duno what she is thinking of.

Shall wait till tml and see how should I settle the issue since she should be slping by now alr.

Overall I did enjoyed myself.. Good night folks!!! Shall continue to study and prep for my activity tml in bxb.

2010-11-10T00:55:00.002+08:00

Another fruitful day I guess?

So happy to know that I have the ability to make someone smile and laugh all day.. =D

Just got home from Tzong Hong's place not long ago.. Glad that he enjoyed his simple celebration at home today. =D Nothing beats seeing the smile and laughters of everyone who are close to you. Did not really study much today apart from looking through my physical chem tutorial.

Another wave of mid term marathon is going to start soon. So have to buck up again. Glad that Pok is going finish his O lvl. The same goes for all my beloved Ban yuan. =D The time for enjoyment is going to be here soon for them.

Really glad to be able to learn so much from Tzong Hong and everyone in his family.. Really treasuring this special affinity I have with them. Really Gan en LM for everything. Be it good or bad, I know I have to learn spmething at the end of the day.

I will jia you and press on. I will not fail anyone again.

Anyway, twin is having his final in Australia right. Wishing u all the best twiny!!! =D Ganbette!!!

I got to go to bed le.. Cant keep my eyes open any further le.

Night people..

PS: thanks for all the concerns from u people. I will try my best to believe more in myself. =D

2010-11-07T19:07:00.002+08:00

Today bxb was all about 禅定. How I wish I can just integrate that into my life and into myself?

Anyway, today while I was travel back to jurong from toa payoh, it strikes me on how distant I am from people around me. Even though people see me being very close to all my buddies and best friends around me, but somehow I feel a barrier between myself and them. It is like I'm unable to blend in with them. It feels as if I'm a lone rock in the middle of a river. Friends around me just blend with each others and I'm left standing there alone. Although there are constant companionship, however the feeling of loneliness dun seem to crease.

I know I have a very wonderful girlfriend, Bro and buddies. But the feeling of loneliness is still there. I kinda feel insecure.. I want with desperation to blend with everyone and to try my best to help them, however, at the same time, I'm afraid of losing them.

I'm afraid that my constant care and concern for them will become something that causes me to lose them. On the other hand, I just cant stop myself from caring for them; from giving them a hand and a few words of encouragement.

That bring me back to my first statement at the beginning of this post. If only I can 禅定, I would not be feeling this way ba..

2010-11-06T01:02:00.004+08:00

Finally get to go home today after the madness of mid term frenzy..

So happy to see mum and sister today.. =D

Nothing brighten my day other den seeing the ones I love smiling at me and giving me all the support i need. Spoke a lot to mum today.. It is really nice to be able to chat with her. Kinda miss whenever I could not go home due to school stuffs.

Today would be even better if I could have taken dinner at home with her. But unfortunately, mum added some non-veggie stock in her vege dishes,. I dun really want to tell her about it coz i dun want her to be upset again. So end up, I have to find an excuse by telling her that I'm full and dun feel like having dinner.

Sometime, I kinda hate myself, coz I can't even have a proper meal with my mum. If only I could convince mummy abt the goodness of being a vegetarian. Really hate it when I dun have enough wisdom to settle this kind of issue.

I still hoping for the day of acceptance to come. LMCB, hope it come soon. If not, my perfect day would only end up being inperfect.

Can I just gain wisdom instantly just like the way my game character does in the game with a simple wisdom buff? haiz.. =(

good night people.. Please do treasure all the times u have with ur parents and ur family.. Dun be like me.. I think I'm just a failure case ba..

2010-11-05T01:30:00.002+08:00

The last mid term for this wave has finally passed.. I have already gotten some of my result back. Only have to say that gan en LM for her blessing, that I'm able to do well for the papers have gotten back. I would say the results for my mid this time round was alot better compared to the past. =D

It is really mysterious on how everyone around me are being brought together. I'm grateful for meeting every single one of u people out there.. Coz u have always been supporting me whenever i'm going through my darkest period or when i need motivation to get going again.

All I can say now is GAN EN and Thank you!!! Nothing is possible for me if LM and all of u are not around me or next to me.. xxcb!!!

I will try my best to be there for all of u.. I promise.. =D

2010-11-02T09:14:00.002+08:00

WHOO!!!! It is really a blast to keep having mid terms last week and this week.. Have been hitting on my books and notes for 3 consecutive weeks. Nv felt so hard working b4. LOL!!

For these few weeks, I must really thanks bro for his constant encouragement; Miaosi for her love and for her 细心, Zhong Hong, Zhong Yu and TZ and FTZ for their wonderful company and wonderful dinners whenever I popped over to their house to study. Felt really blessed and loved!! =D

Lastly I must gan en my mum for her encouraging sms and LM for her constant support whenever I dont have the strength to continue studying or when i feel really tired. 感恩慈悲！！

Tml marks the last mid for this mid terms spree period!! I will persevere till the end of it!! =D

JIA YOU!!!

2010-10-12T13:02:00.002+08:00

I guess I'm breaking records for my medical spending each time i fell sick.

My total Bill for my tonsilitis this time is $109 so far. Tml still still have to follow up with another appointment with the doc. Hopefully, tml consultation will be free. =)

It has been 2 years since tonsilitis acted up on me. The previous time landed me in a 2 weeks drug allergy effect and at the same time, identifying the first drug that I'm allergic to.

Stress of 2 mid terms and lack of slp + lack of a proper diet land me in my current state. haha.. and the IRONIC thing was, I dun have to take both mid terms since I/m covered with mc. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

haha.. Guess i just need to go rest more and slp more. haha

2010-09-29T08:05:00.002+08:00

Heyo people!!!

Sorry for the anger filled last post.. and thanks for all your concerns. The issue resolved alr. So I'm going to forget abt it. haha

Anyway, now is alr week 5 of sch. and in the next 2 weeks, i will be having 4 mid terms. 1 next week and 3 on week 7. Gosh!!! How am i going to survive? haha

Now I'm currently working on my lab report and studying for my test. haha

Hope to be able to finish studying on time. =D kk.. gtg. Cya

2010-09-16T10:42:00.002+08:00

I'm not a saint yet u know..

I'm still a human.

I can still get hurt by the words u say.

How many times do u have to say things that hurt me. Say things without thoughts?

Now that i'm hurt, I dun even get to be upset?

I just want some time to be alone? I'm not 憋气 this time round. I just want to wake up and cool down. I just wants thing to be right again.

I just want to slap myself for getting so upset. But what good will it do?

How much do u really understand my feeling?

Why u r always giving me this feeling that i just cant do things well or get things right?

M I really so weak?

All I wanted was to let both of us improve together and build up our relationship. Not for u and me to just talk abt senseless stuffs.

U have no idea how much it hurt when u say things to me without thinking. and now u r accusing me of hurting u?

NOW THAT REALLY HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LAWRENCE TENG WILL REMAIN SILENCE FOREVER IF THAT IS WHAT U WANT!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-11T22:27:00.002+08:00

Time flies!!! It has been a month since i last updated!!!

Really sorry for the lack of update..

Alot of things have happened for the past 1 month. I just so glad that I'm able to learn from it.

Maybe u will see a brand new me after all these lesson, maybe not.

To me, it is not impt which way u think abt me. Coz I am who I am. I will continue to upgrade myself for the better.

I may make mistake, however, i will need a kind soul to remind me. So please bear with my flaws and remind me of them. xxcb. =D

2010-07-31T11:15:00.002+08:00

Wow!!! It have been a few weeks since Im here.. My apology for the lack of entry.. haha

Summary for July:

1) End of ICT 2010

2) Food Poisoning during ICT =(

3) Genting trip with Miaosi and family

4) My Birthday

5) Lot of funs and more!!!

August is coming tml alr.. This mean I'm only left with 1 month to sch reopen. got to jia you!!! =D

2010-07-10T11:53:00.003+08:00

Week 1 of ICT is finally down. 1 more week to go.

Been really tired lately. Coz everyday have to slp for less than 6 hours den have to wake up for a full day of training in camp liao.

Kinda unsure of what to update abt lately. Coz it seems like my life is getting mundrane. Guess i will update only sometime later ba.

Till the next post.

Ciao`

2010-06-27T01:15:00.002+08:00

This week is an eventful week for me..

i started work on tuesday at Global Foundries Singapore. So everyday wake up at 6.15am, den after shaoxiang will leave house at 7am. and reach office by 8.15 in woodlands. i'm quite happy with my work, get to learn a lot of chemicals properties used in the industry. =D really gan en to find a job like this.

On top of that, there was some issues going on. So i have to try to help to settle it. lmcb that everything is under control now. hopefully nth like this will happen again.

Really gan en that i can learn so much lately.. lmcb.. just let me continue to learn together with everyone out there.. =)

2010-06-20T00:42:00.002+08:00

Been 3 weeks since i last updated my blog.

Was really busy with my life. Finish exam on 16th June, den had IPPT on the same day too. Dun ask me abt my IPPT result, it is confidential. =X haha

After which, went for 'A' Camp on the 17th and 18th June to liao yuan she ying. These 2 days are really fruitful, I have benefited alot from the camp itself.

Firstly, the whole camp was really impactful. Till now, the deep impact is till there, indeed 道是珍贵的. Really hope that those ban yuans can bring home something from the camp.

Next, I met a group of very nice people. Namely the full comm for 'A' camp, the skit actors and the rest liao yuan zhe in the camp itself. They allow me to be able to blend in with them even on the first day and at the end of the second day, we are already quite bonded.

After coming back from liao yuan this time, i really hope that i can get to liao yuan camp planning next yr. =) LMCB!!!

tml is gan en ri for QSN 20th anniversary. Will be there for she ying again.. haha, looking forward to it. and not to mention, lunch with zheng hao tml =)

Cya people!!! and good night world!!

Till next time`

2010-05-29T07:59:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone, I'm back to update abt my life again. haha

It has been 3 weeks since my last update, so u might be wondering what am I busy with lately.

The past few weeks after my house shifting, I'm basically going out with my friends, attending special sem and going to fotang. Of coz, some personal time spent with dad.

Running have become a rountine for me too. Apart from attending IPT, I'm jogging/ running every week with Ji Xiang in the morning.

But i guess my energy span is lowering, so have to conserve it. Exam for special sem will be coming in 3 weeks time. So wish me luck!!! I bet i will need lotsa it. =D

2010-05-07T23:50:00.002+08:00

After moving my stuffs for 3 days, I finally remove every piece of my personal belonging out of hall and moved it to my new home at Tamen Jurong... haha...

Only manage to unpack most of my thing at my new place this afternoon... Still a few packages that are not opened yet... Coz I'm lacking of a rack and a book shelve... So any kind soul want to donate any used usable rack or shelve to me??? haha...

First time staying in a fo tang, feel so different... Coz like got xian fo to look after me all the times... haha... The environment is good also...

Must really gan en LMCB...

Anyway, after reflecting upon myself, I realise my temperment is abit off lately... Im not sure of the reason, but will try to curb it... I wun let my cultivation goes into the drain de... So i will jia you...

Anyway, kinda late already... Going to slp... Good night folks... =)

2010-04-28T19:21:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda losing strength now... Still trying my best to hang in there...
Been studying non-stop ever since morning... Of coz, I did take a break in between... But it is not enough to get my strength back...

It is like trying to perform a major magick without sufficient reserve to back me up... And my vision is going blur and stuffs... Yet I know, i cant give up now... Coz if i do, all my past efforts will go into the drain...

Can someone just give me some mana potions or elixirs??? I need to rejunavate myself before I continue...

Kinda wear out/ burn out by everything around me; family, exam and personal issues...

There is no one to support me, the last I check...

I seriously need some physical support, like a hug and someone to say personally face to face to me that it is alright, I can still go on... Words and smses do not work anymore... They feel kinda empty... Like something without feeling..

Yet, how many can really understand what I need or what I'm going through???

I guess I'm the only one...

2010-04-24T15:07:00.002+08:00

Sent Dad off this morning at 5am at Changi Airport... I'm kinda worried, coz dad is going to Bangkok, not for a work trip but accompanying his friends to go pray.

Been having this indescribable feeling since Dad told me that he is flying off to Bangkok... As u know, the situation at Bangkok now is quite tense... I'm praying very hard that nothing happens..

Feeling kinda tired now too... Coz I nv sleep last night... Spent my night at airport coz want to save some cab fare.. So i reached Changi Airport at like 12.30am... Den waited there till 5am when Dad finally arrives...

Think I'm going to Changi Airport tml to study and at the same time await for his return... Thankfully he is just going for 2 days 1 night... haha...

I got to jia you... Coz my exam is only 1/3 way through... =) Will persevere on...

As quoted from my laptop wall paper: "No Matter how difficult it is, I shall overcome it..."

PS: it is not easy to be alone... But i will continue to bear with it...

2010-04-23T10:40:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling terriblily lonely...

Why when I know how to appreciate, and ironically I have lost it...

孝 - look like i will never be able to complete this word...

I will forever be a lost sheep wondering in the big grass patch...

2010-04-22T00:10:00.003+08:00

Wonder is due to the darkening sky in the afternoon or is it due to me being woken up by Raymond early in the morning at 5.30am today, there was this very weird feeling in me...

This feeling was the same feeling that i felt when i first got enlisted into tekong, when i got trapped in camp in 30 SCE during a heavy 3 days 2 nights downpour during my supposed night out... In fact, it was the same feeling that exist in me when i was in thailands for my oversea exercise during november 2007...

I realised I was homesick, this is the homesick feeling that i'm have felt for the whole of today... For those who know, they will know why i'm feeling this way... My mind kept flashing back all the moments that i spent with my family... The first time i saw them leaving me when i got enlisted in tekong, the first time I had a meal with them at jalan kayu prata shop after my 2 weeks confinement, the time of missing them when i got trapped in camp due to that big rain, the time when i was in thailands for training and the time when we went to genting together..

Maybe it is the weather, it just keep reminding me of that heavy downpour moment in nov 2006... Maybe I listen too much to 'love of siam' OST... I kinda miss everything.. I kinda felt alone, it is as if no one is there for me... I know I have alot of people who cares for me, but somehow i just felt that way...

A line picked up from 'Love of Siam': "is it possible for us to love someone without the fear of losing that person? or is it possible to not love at all?"

This is the line that has been in my mind for the whole day...

I kinda got upset when i was looking for someone to have dinner with and i got rejected... I called dad, but dad was bz with work... I told dear, but she somehow make me feel as if im unwelcome for dinner in her place... I called bro, bro was on his way back... I tried to focus on my book in the evening, but i cant focus at all... End up, I went to woodlands... Coz I realise i misses the place there,.. I miss the library which i spent 6 years in preparing for my major exam and a place i spent my time in looking for my favourite author.. I miss Causeway Point, coz i used to go there with my family every sunday during my sec 1 and sec 2 years... I miss woodlands coz dad's factory is there too...

ps: I'm sorry dear for not being able to tell u the reason of why i'm upset... I wanted to tell u... But i just can't... I know u are concern and u didn't meant to make me feel unwelcome... But it is just me... I got upset and nothing went in... My pride start kicking into place too... I guess u must be really upset when i refuses to tell u the actual reason b4 u went to bed... I know u care... But u wun understand the angish and upset-ness i had in me today... Even if u do, u certainly cant feel it 100%... Thanks for your ever-ready shower of cares and concern when i need it... Thanks for the unconditional love shower on me... I guess I have been a spolit brat for these 2 weeks... Give me some times to return back to normal again k??? I already lost 1 important person in my life... I cant afford to lose another one... Please be patience with my these few days...

2010-04-17T00:23:00.003+08:00

Went to Bugis to study today...

Why did I do so??? Coz I need a change in environment to help me study plus i'm missing the food in bugis, so went there so that i can have my dinner there too... haha...

At first when i reached there, i wanted to settle down in NLB... But being located at the CBD area and being near to the exam period of all university and secondary school, the library was really packed... So end up I have to walk back to Bugis Junction and settle down in TCC instead...

Tried 3 different flavours of tea while Iwas there today, Russian earl grey, French earl grey and divine choc tea.. All tasted nice and smell great... Bad thing about TCC that is next to fish & co is that their air con is really blasting...

After staying in there for 3 hours, i decide to leave the place coz I manage to complete half of my objectives for studying today... Went back to NLB again.. tried to read abit but the lighting was quite bad that it make reading quite difficult.. As i have to wait for dear to reach Bugis, I end up walking around Bugis Junction instead...

Finally dear arrived... haha... Was really starving, so went for dinner at pinetree cafe... and continued mugging at TCC again... This time round i went to the outlet located in the mall itself... the lighting and temperature were just nice... so finish reading the rest of my notes and went back... Quite a fruitful day...

I will be studying out of hall from now on... Feel that i can concentrate better that way...

To end off, I have taken 2 pics with dear today:

ps: I like the way she smiles all the times... It certainly brighten up everything within our vicinity... =D

2010-04-14T23:29:00.001+08:00

Why did I lose control today?

It doesnt serve any purpose at all.

After all these months, I tot i had a better grip on myself.

But it seems that i'm proven wrong today.

2010-04-10T10:28:00.002+08:00

Our 3rd month just passed on Thursday...

Time flies seriously... 3 months went pass in a blink... =) I'm just so glad that she is always there for me all the times... Although sometime exams and tests do keep us apart for a few days without seeing each other, but it is the joy of knowing that she is there that really make a difference.. =)

Nothing beats waking up in the morning seeing her morning greeting message in my hp... Nothing beats seeing her smile at every silly actions that i have make... In front of her, I know i can just be myself cause i know that i could no longer hide my true self with her gentle gaze... =)

Happy 3rd month my dear!!!

ps.: duno why blogger is so lagg in pic uploading today... Think i will upload the pic another day... haha...

2010-04-05T09:35:00.001+08:00

The last mid term is finally here...

This means that i have to work harder as the final exam will be appearing in 2 weeks time...

Jia You!!!

No more lazing and no more distraction... ONLY 100% focus...

2010-03-28T21:15:00.001+08:00

No matter how hard i tried, I seem to only be getting an average score for my mid terms and exam...

2010-03-25T00:09:00.003+08:00

Today just make me realise this:

能握着你亲爱的人的手是一件很幸福与浪漫的事...

I will treasure every single day i spend with you... =D

Just hope to be able to see your smile everyday... =D

〈〈珍惜和满足〉〉

2010-03-23T23:12:00.001+08:00

I think my current status is 'mid term frenzy'...

Why???

Coz i'm having 5 mid terms within these 3 weeks... 2 have already passed... Left with the last 3, namely 951, 313 and 214...

Not to mention that 951 and 214 are on the same day... I think i need some blessing...

Going to take a break tml and continue chionging for my mid terms on thursday... Hopefully got enough time to finish studying... =)

I need some luck here... So people, please bless me with lotsa luck... =)

2010-03-13T00:58:00.003+08:00

Duno why is my physical condition so weak lately... Have been sick, den recover and sock again... Duno whether is it die to the weather or is it due to the stress of mid terms coming... haha...

3 mid terms coming up, 214, 211 and 951 mid terms... in case u r wondering what that, it is physical chem, analystical chem and material chem mod that i'm taking this sem... haha... Felt as if there are endless of thing to study and rmb... gosh...

I got to buck up... =)

Pray that i can finish with a victory smile... =D haha...

good luck to me in advance then!!!!

2010-03-05T15:05:00.003+08:00

U can't pass a judgement without sufficient evidence and understanding on someone u dun really know...

Sometime, having to cool down and do some self reflection is good to oneself...

But how many people can actually do that without jumping straight into conclusion???

It is indeed a wonder...

2010-02-26T01:05:00.002+08:00

Been lacking of slp lately... I guess partially was due to the mid term on wed... Have to study for it as there was alot of other commitments that require me to attend to b4 the mid term...

Chinese New Year will soon come to an end... However, there are so relatives that i have yet to visit... Feel kinda apologetic coz i dun have enough time to visit them due to school and Fotang... I will have to try to visit them by this sunday... haha... =)

Went over to Zheng Hao's house on Wed night to bai nian... haha... His mum is really nice.. She kept bringing food over to me and ask me to eat them... I had a nice chat with Zheng Hao that day too... Glad that he is graduating... Congrat bro!!! Finally grad liao... haha... =D

I realise that my social circle in Fotang is expanding... haha... I just got to know a few more good friends who i can learn from and who we could support each other with... haha... Nice to know all of u!!! =)

On a side note:

I have been trying to keep a smile on my face... It has been a year since the incident between my mum and I has happened... For this whole year, I have been trying my best to make thing better, to perservence on.... But how long i can still keep up with the efforts?? I really duno... I'm still trying my best... I wun give up... Coz i know what i want... and i know what i have to do... I have too many people behind me, supporting me... I cant afford to back up and to give up... Most importantly, i cant fail myself... Coz if i were to let go, all my efforts will go into the drain.. LMCB!!! I will press on... The sunshine will break after the dark cloud moves away... Thus, if u ever see me emoing, please snap me out of it k???

I know one day my mum will understands... And i pray for the day to come soon...

2010-02-19T16:02:00.002+08:00

Happy Tiger Year to everyone!!!!! =DD

It has been quite a while since my last update.... My apology for the lack of update..

Let me recap the significant event for the past 2 weeks...

8th Feb:

This day marks the 1st month of Miaosi and me... As that night i have a funeral to attend, we cut short our celebration to having a dinner only. I gave her a bear and a cup for memories, while i got a hand-made bookmark from her... Although the bookmark was not done up very nicely according to dear, but in my eyes, it is perfect... =)

13th Feb:

Took dear over to my dad's place to have a reunion lunch with him.. =) Apparently dad was rather delight to meet Miaosi... It was a wonderful lunch... That is also the first time i gave roses to dear, wonder whether she like it or not... Den after that went to FT for bai nian and chi shui...

14th Feb:

First day of CNY, at the same time it was Valentine's day too... Spend it by going to bai nian with my dad then met dear to go my tz's place to bai nian... At night, went over to her da jiu's place to bai nian... Kinda nervous that day coz first time seeing all her relatives.. haha... Lucky never say the wrong things... =x

15th Feb:

Continue with bai nian with dear again, this time round was her da shu's place... Saw all her father's side relatives... Then after bai nian, went over to her house to chill and chit chat... haha...

16th Feb:

Our last round of bai nian to all our friends in FT... it lasted for the whole day and i brought dear over to Xiao Si's aunt place for a mini gathering... Enjoyed ourselves thoroughly...

17th Feb:

Went out to Bugis Topone for kbox with bro and sis as well as dear... 4 persons sing until i think our throat going to burst liao... haha... I didnt know that dear has such a wonderful voice... Would really like to listen to her singing more often... =D

Well, this CNY week is really fulfilling... I have enjoyed myself too... I'm grateful that I'm not alone during this year CNY... There was one more person with me...

To Miaosi:

I believe u will read this post... I enjoy spending very single bit of my time with u... How i wish we can have more time together... I will treasure all the time spend with u as well as making u happy too...

It is u who brighten up my life even though dark cloud seem to be nearering me... Thanks for being the one... Thanks for appearing in my life and make things right... =)

I hope our feeling for each other will 始终如一up till the end...

I love u dear!!!! =D

2010-02-03T13:04:00.002+08:00

1 year is going to pass by us in another 1 week time...

The year of the ox is finally ending, while the year of tiger is starting... People always say that the start of a new year signify a good omen where everything on this earth start anew with the arrival of spring...

However, i dun think the same goes for me... What have happen in the year of the Ox will just get carried forward to the year of the Tiger...

I only have a simple wish... and that is to be able to see spring approach me one day...

2010-01-25T18:15:00.002+08:00

Just realise that my blog will soon be visited by spider if i dun update it with a new post... haha...

Eversince school started, my schedule have been quite packed and full... The stress is starting to build up as this sem, i'm facing more difficult mods like physical chem which so far seems to be more of physics than chem and analysis chem...

Though I busy with my school work, training and prayer, I'm glad that i'm not alone...

I'm glad that my Dad is always there to listen to my whines as and when I need to unload...

I'm glad that I have a wonderful Tang Zhu who is always there with her ever ready advices...

I'm glad to have Edmund and Siqi, for both my bro and sis are always willing to put up with my temperment and willing to support me through...

And of coz, I'm glad to have miaosi with me to always cheering me up, for making me laugh, for letting me know that she will always be there for me and for supporting me when i need it...

I grateful to LM for all her arrangements, for letting me grow up and for letting me know how to face myself truthfully...

All the things that i have went through in the year 2009 just made me grown up to be more mature and firmer with my beliefs...

Lastly, I would like to thanks everyone whom i have not mentions, for being in my life and making it a wonderful one, one way or another... =D

2010-01-09T00:41:00.002+08:00

Memorable Day for me!!!! =)

Today is Miaosi's 21st birthday... We went out for a celebration with Jie yee and others at quality hotel for a buffet yesterday...

I enjoyed myself... with all the fun and laughters...

Most imptly, Miaosi and i got closer... We are officially attached on the 08/01/2010 at 12.40pm... =)

This day shall be our memory and our new chapter!!! =D

2010-01-01T00:22:00.004+08:00

Happy 2010!!!!!

In this brand year, I would like to wish everyone a pink health and a more peaceful world to live in... =)

2009-12-21T00:56:00.003+08:00

Went to watch Avatar today at Illuma....

Super nice and cool show... No wonder the rating for it is quite high... But i nv expect the show to be so long... It lasted for ard 2.5 hrs... Almost as long as LOTR 3... haha...

Met up with Mr Law today as well, so glad to see him and catching up with him... coz he has been very busy eversince he went to RI to teach... So there was no chance for me to have a good chat with him for a few years.... haa...

Xmas is coming soon... Yet, i'm going to be alone during xmas eve... haha... Can any kind soul save me???

2009-12-18T21:41:00.002+08:00

I wonder how did Harry felt when Ron and Hermione was together...

Did he felt neglected??? Was the balance among their friendship still there??? Or did the balance just scatter???

Today was GM's 21st Birthday celebration... It seems to be a big affair with quite a few common friend being invited... However, it is kinda ironic that i felt really out of place and really neglected... This is not due to the host... But due to the response between our common friend and me...

I just duno why that it seems i'm not impt to them... I felt really left out from the start... when they sit down, they nv leave a seat for me... They saw me being very quiet today, and yet they have nv ask me what is wrong...

When they were at the playground and i walk past them, they never call out to me to ask me to join them...

I have alot of doubts in my mind... Am I really impt to them??? or am i just another passerby???

I loathe myself, my character, my way of handling stuffs... I hate everything abt me...

Why do i always have to be so selfish and only think abt myself???

Why i always act as if i'm the big brother out there, when all i want to be was a younger brother receiving all the attentions and love...

Why do i feel left out so easily???

Why do i get jealous too???

ANd why am i so afraid to lose my friends if i show them my weakness...

WHY????????????????????? What is wrong with me??? why do i have to be the person who i am now??? I absolutely HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I should just wall myself off... That way, it might be better for everyone around me... Afterall, life would be so much better without an utter idiot like me around...

2009-12-16T11:02:00.002+08:00

Heyo, I'm finally back... Sorry for the long absence...

Last week was ICT week... Even though i can book out everything, but i was seriously too tired to do anything... So i will end up sleeping after i shower... haha....

Den Sat was Dennis and Jannis' Wedding, being Dennis' brother was really fun.. haha... But that day i got mobilised back to camp at 2pm... Den have to rush back home and rush over to Tian Guo at only 6pm... Felt so bad for being late... But quite fun... This was the first time i get to usher guest in the wedding dinner, open door for the couple entrance, yam seng on stage and lastly, organise the table for photo shoot with the bride and groom... haha... =)

Den sunday was a packed day too... Morning got zhaodai, afternoon got lesson, at night still got zhaodai... haha...

I'm really enjoying my holidays so far... Hope it wun end so soon...

gtg... cya` O ya... B4 i forget, bon voyage to everyone who are going to taiwan this week... =D

2009-12-04T11:18:00.001+08:00

WooHoo... finally end all the miseries of having exams... haha...

To summerise everything:

CBC 212: this paper was quite alright, just hope that there is no careless...

CBC213: Almost die with all the twist added to the questions, but still quite manageable..

CBC931: S/U mod, so just hope to get a S...

CBC961: My fav mod, hopefully can get the grade for it...

HG803: Total killer, dun really know how to do 1 question... But S/U... So hope to get S...

Up next would all the xmas prep... =)

2009-11-28T23:31:00.001+08:00

Cant believe my luck in mousehunt today... GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look at this:

I didnt catch any mouse at all... From 3pm to now leh... OMG!!!!!

kk... Just to destress from my mugging abit... now back to action for more intensive reading...

2009-11-25T19:52:00.002+08:00

Today marks the start of my first paper for this sem's final exam; CBC 931, Industrial Chemistry.

This paper was quite alright... Some questions seem to be rather tricky... But i tried my best to avoid the trick... Spot a few mistakes here and there... There are a few questions which i have totally no idea on what it is abt... I mean who would have memorise all the catalysts' structure and the outline of the organic photovoltic cell???

Well, i gave my best shot... so no regret... =) Since i S/U it already... Nth to complain abt too...

Coincidentally, today is also my mum's birthday... I actually wanted to give her a surprise... Want to go home with a cake and celebrate with her... But mum being mum, she knows exactly what i'm thinking of... So she called and stopped me from going home... haha... She dun want me to waste time travelling to and fro just for her birthday...

I really hate it that eversince i enter uni, I cant celebrate my mum's birthday... This is the third year i'm unable to do so le...
First year: I were in thailand for an oversea exercise, so cant celebrate with her...
Last Year: Had forensic paper, same scenario... Mum stopped me from going home to celebrate with her too...
This year: as mention...

So that is a total of 3 years... I hope next year wun be the same any more... I hope to be able to celebrate my mum's birthday every year... I know that i dun have to just celebrate with her on this special day, i can celebrate with her anyday, anytime... But to me, on this special day of hers, i'm even more grateful... Coz without my mum, there wun be me...

Happy Birthday MUM!!!! =D

2009-11-22T11:38:00.002+08:00

Due to the consistent rains and wind lately, xmas seems to be announcing to us its arrival...

The xmas smell and feel is floating in the air...

How i wish exam would be over soon... Den i shall be doing my usual xmas prep... =)

Although the weather is chilly, but my heart is warmed... ;)

2009-11-18T21:30:00.002+08:00

Another day has passed...

25th Nov seem to be nearering... and yet, i did not study anything today... duno why... Maybe is coz my brain is forcing me to take a break today... I have been reading my inorganic notes for like a few hours already and yet nothing is entering... Maybe i should just take a break and continue tml..

Wish me luck people... =)